This girl is more easily done than said...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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