What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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