For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
