idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
