I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize