I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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