i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
