Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
