Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
