He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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