How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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