he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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