The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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