jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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