listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
