just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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