This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
