he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
