i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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