how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
