i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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