so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
