butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
