so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
