You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
