I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
