Pappa wants mamma naked
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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