East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
