I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
