I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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