My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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