Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered