I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.