Having a random hookup so left but love u
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
look no pants
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal