then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.