Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Jerry, you need to find god

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  (502): Jerry, you need to find god http://tfl.nu/604x
  Replies (17) Good night (614) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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  (303): I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants. http://tfl.nu/0mqu
  Replies (10) Good night (538) Bad night (3447) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart

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  (512): a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart http://tfl.nu/j66q
  Replies (30) Good night (476) Bad night (2680) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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  (760): I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night http://tfl.nu/kc6c
  Replies (14) Good night (3942) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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  (765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9
  Replies (28) Good night (2096) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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  (919): They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible http://tfl.nu/xaoi
  Replies (7) Good night (3877) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."

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  (402): We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends." http://tfl.nu/n1yw
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (2241)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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  (314): At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving? http://tfl.nu/o7j4
  Replies (10) Good night (4201) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.

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  (630): As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games. http://tfl.nu/gy2l
  Replies (7) Good night (1767) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.

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  (909): Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out. http://tfl.nu/vj9i
  Replies (10) Good night (1906) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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  (503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.

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  (214): I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002. http://tfl.nu/v8jb
  Replies (12) Good night (999) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Liz is crying about burritos again.

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  (443): Liz is crying about burritos again. http://tfl.nu/wqr3
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

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  (631): I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever http://tfl.nu/7j84
  Replies (22) Good night (2958) Bad night (305)

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