She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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