M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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