So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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