At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
