oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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