he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
