My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm really busy with my period
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize