You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
