if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
