i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
