The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
