I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize