i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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