not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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