k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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