ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
