What did we do last night that was yellow?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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