youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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