Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
