i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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