It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
