Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I will be naked everywhere
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
