More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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