He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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