I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
