C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
