I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
