I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is it penis luge time yet?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
