Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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