I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
