Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
