Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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