Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
