we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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