dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
